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Married daters are more common than we’d like to think, says dating coach Laurel House, host of the podcast The Man Whisperer.Her tip: “A little pre-date due diligence is smart.These days, however, the New York Times Vows section—famous for its meet-cute stories of the blissfully betrothed—is full of couples who trumpet the love they found through Ok Cupid or Tinder.Today an estimated one-third of marrying couples in the U. met online, and as many as 15 percent of American adults have used dating sites or apps.(When you’re a black woman in your 40s, why do all your matches look like George Jefferson?) Hoffman says the algorithm, like a boyfriend, can’t read my mind; I need to message and “like” guys I find appealing if I want to start seeing similar people in my results.
If they're older/paunchier/have more neck bolts than he does in the photos, choose compassion, says New York dating coach Connell Barrett.“He probably lied because it’s a sore spot.” Just have one polite drink. You may wind up charmed—and it’s the human thing to do.One reason I’ve been passive about online dating: Most of the guys have been a little conservative for my taste.“And we’ve found that people looking for a sweetheart on the internet are more likely to have full-time employment and higher education, and to be seeking a long-term partner.Online dating is the way to go—you just have to learn to work the system.” So take heart: Whether you’re a first-time player or a seasoned contestant who wants to up her game, our troubleshooting guide is here to help, with advice from both experts and survivors on how to search strategically, handle setbacks gracefully, maintain sanity, and enjoy the ride—with minimal agony and maximum ecstasy. Seven years ago, I signed up for Match.com, but I never took it seriously.